Fatherhood
by Maya-chan2007
Summary: Dracule Mihawk is starting to get irritated at the two annoyances who won't leave him alone. Or, Mihawk finds he's suddenly become a parent. This does not compute. /fluff


Just a cute, fluffy little piece. Part of my Everyone Lives!Modern! One Piece AU, though you don't have to read the others to be able to understand this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

* * *

He didn't quite know what he was expecting when he returned home. Considering Mihawk had spent the last half year traveling, as he was wont to do, the possibility of someone else moving into his house was at least a possibility. Not a very likely one, to be sure. Most people knew of his reputation and skill; it was hard to think that there was someone daring or audacious enough to try to steal his house while Mihawk was out. A possible exception to this was someone from the homeless population, but even then it was unlikely that a homeless person would be able to make it through Mihawk's house's protection system.

One other possibility was, of course, Mihawk's acquaintance Shanks. There was likely no security system in the world that would actually deter the red-haired man. Shanks was annoyingly determined that way. But, Mihawk had it on very good authority that Shanks and his lot were celebrating some victory, or occasion, or using some other excuse for a party out in Alabasta.

God help the royal family of Alabasta.

Keeping these points in mind, it was with minor curiosity and only milder annoyance that Mihawk entered his house after noticing the lights in his drawing room on. Keeping a list of options for intruders in mind, he didn't even bother with pulling out his beloved sword or some other blade. Most likely he wouldn't need either. He'd barely made it through the door when the voices started their assault on his eardrums.

Mihawk frowned. He couldn't say much about their fighting skills, or clearly their stealth skills, but their voices did more damage to him than any of their attacks ever could. He thought briefly about informing them, but decided against it. No doubt their protests would be even more irritating than their presence currently was.

Sighing minutely, Mihawk strode to the entryway to his drawing room. He surveyed the scene before him, taking in the disarray the room had been thrown into—the pillows lying haphazardly on the floor, paintings on the wall askew, trash littered over every available surface. It was only a minor miracle that none of the furniture was broken, though the coffee table looked like it would collapse at any time. It was almost as bad as one of Shanks' parties. Almost.

"Is there a reason you decided to break into my house and make a mess?" The bickering stopped almost immediately.

Roronoa Zoro shrugged, slumping further in his seat. He drank straight out of a bottle of sake that Mihawk had been saving. This didn't bode well for the state of his wine cellar. "You weren't here when I got here, so I decided to wait. Figured you wouldn't mind if I made myself at home."

Mihawk's eyes narrowed. "You figured wrong. If you are here for a fight, you're going to be disappointed."

"Hey, hey!" Zoro protested, lurching out of his seat. Perona shoved him back in his seat before standing in front of Mihawk. She crossed her arms, ignoring Zoro's offended huff.

"Moria-sama is busy somewhere, so I don't have somewhere to stay," she said haughtily. "And, well, the atmosphere is exactly what I like." She mentioned with a raised eyebrow, "You let me stay here before." Mihawk's mouth pulled into a frown. It was…vexing…that these two were always able to cause such expressions. His training meant that he should have had better control over his emotions, or at least his facial expressions. It was exactly the kind of situation that he usually took advantage of during his own battles and contests. Plus, it was irritating that anyone could pull such emotion from him at all.

"A mistake on my part if either of you thought that you'd be able to stay here," he said instead. Really. Mihawk loved traveling, loved being able to wander wherever he so pleased. He loved his freedom, almost as much as he loved his swordplay. Mihawk wasn't sure what it was about these two that made them think they would be welcomed in his home but they were sorely mistaken. "I don't have the inclination to let either of you stay." He turned his back to the room, preparing to take stock of the damage to the rest of his house. "Straighten up the room and then leave."

He paid no mind to the protests at his back.

* * *

"Is there a particular reason why I was left as your emergency contact?"

Mihawk supposed he should have been used to the interference in his life. Perhaps the most puzzling thing was _why_ he'd still chosen to come down to the station when he received a call that Zoro had been arrested. It might have been sheer curiosity and novelty of being called in the first place. Only the government would dare order him somewhere and they definitely didn't have a hand to play in this. If Mihawk was honest he would say that he was astonished that the officers had been able to get a hold of his phone number, let alone actually _call_ him. Then again, for all Mihawk knew Zoro could have just yelled at them until they'd given up. What he really needed right now were answers.

The young swordsman in question sat up from his cot in the Cope Inee jail cell. It was admittedly vaguely impressive that Zoro was apparently familiar enough with the city's legal system that he had his own reserved jail cell, along with that gang leader of his and several other high-ranking gang leaders in the city. Mihawk knew that Zoro would be one to watch out for in regards to his skill with a sword but this just cemented that fact in his head.

Despite himself, Mihawk was starting to feel curious on where the young swordsman's path would take him in life. It was sure to be interesting. Already he'd made a name for himself and his gang through his skill with the sword, though his technique left much to be desired. Zoro's wasted potential aside, however, the green haired young man still had no reason to call on Mihawk specifically to 'bail him out.'

Zoro at least had the self-awareness to look contrite. He rubbed the back of his head and looked to the other side of the cell awkwardly. "I didn't know they'd actually call you," he said. "Usually Luffy comes to pick me up but he's on some camping trip with his family." He shrugged, unconcerned. "Then the witch said she wouldn't let anyone else waste money on our bail, so the rest of my friends aren't coming."

"I still fail to see how that makes you my problem." Mihawk was also still unsure why he'd come in the first place. He could easily walk away at this point, having done his part to show up and tell Zoro to his face that he wasn't Mihawk's problem. For some reason he couldn't make himself leave just yet, though. Perhaps he was curious to see how the situation would play out? Or, better yet, exactly how he came to be Zoro's emergency contact.

That needed to be fixed immediately.

Zoro's brow furled as he thought. "I think what it was, is that I told them to just call my master—my sword master—to come get me." He shrugged once more. "Guess they thought that meant you."

Mihawk stared at Zoro. "I see," he finally said. He felt something akin to pride heavily mixed with irritation at his words. It was flattering to his ego as a master of the sword that others would think that Mihawk had anything to do with the younger swordsman's skills. Mihawk wasn't a teacher. He didn't have the patience or the much needed ability to hold back to be able to train anyone. He could hold back _enough_ , but that just wouldn't be satisfying as a swordsman. For Mihawk, if he was to teach then the student would need to be prepared for everything, not expect to be coddled the whole way. He would either use a smaller knife to train his student, and thus no doubt injure the student's pride and cause more headaches later on, or he wouldn't even bother with having a student in the first place. He didn't have the patience for weaklings. Zoro actually had the skill to be able to stand as a suitable apprentice—but, Mihawk didn't take apprentices. No, Zoro's skills were his own. Anything he'd learnt he'd done so either on his own or from his former sword master.

There was great potential in Zoro, but neither had the temperament to act as master and disciple for one another. Mihawk wasn't even sure why he was contemplating this. He wanted his independence, not to be tied down to others. It was already frustrating enough that he couldn't seem to get rid of Shanks and his offers of friendship. And that wasn't even counting the government with their contracts and 'missions' for him to carry out. Mihawk had no need for anyone else getting attached.

Instead of bringing this up, though, he asked "Why did you not call upon your master yourself? Surely the officers here have allowed you your phone call." If they didn't Mihawk would have to do something about that. He may not care that much about Zoro but as a technical government official he still had a duty to make sure that the law enforcement officers weren't abusing their power.

He didn't even want to think about the fact that his action would be going against his usual stance of non-interference. He was Mihawk, and he acted as he chose. There was no deep meaning there.

Zoro grimaced, looking away once more. A flash of what looked like guilt flitted briefly behind his eyes. "My master and I…well, I haven't spoken to him in a while." He took a breath as he met Mihawk's gaze straight on, silently challenging him to question his words. "Things didn't end so well between us. It's better if we don't see each other right now." That was interesting. The curious, no doubt Shanks-influenced part of his mind briefly considered why that might be. Mihawk's train of thought was dashed abruptly at Zoro's next words and accompanying smile. "I'm actually relieved it was you they called instead."

Like that Mihawk's _need_ to leave skyrocketed. He turned abruptly and headed for the door, ignoring Zoro calling after him in confusion.

And if Mihawk happened to pay out Zoro's bail on his way out of the station, well. No one really needed to know.

* * *

Mihawk sat back in his chair on his back porch, eyes closed, enjoying the crisp autumn day. The breeze was minimal, the tang of decaying leaves and plant life sharp in the air. The humandrills kept their chatter to a minimum, sticking mostly to the edge of the tree line near the edge of the back yard. Mihawk had come across his house a few years ago and he was quite pleased with it. His plot of land was far enough away from the city that he couldn't even see the bright lights at night and was secluded enough that he never received any visitors.

Until two people decided that they wanted to be at the top of Mihawk's annoyance list.

"Oh, don't frown at me like that," Perona said, hugging her rather large patchwork stuffed bear and leaning back in her seat in contentment. "You'd be lonely if I didn't come visit." She had her parasol adjusted to block out the afternoon sun from her eyes, highlighting the dark circles under her eyes.

"I would not," Mihawk replied clearly. He wasn't sure why he didn't ignore her. He was pretty sure if he did she'd leave on her own. Engaging in conversation can only mean she'd feel vindicated in her continued visits. Already she seemed far too comfortable at his house for his liking. "The point of having my house away from everyone and my property surrounded by humandrills is to deter visitors." The fact that his property included an old battle field and the ruins of a small town that hadn't been cleared out yet also helped. He'd heard rumors before about the area being haunted or cursed. As Perona pointed out once, it helped add to the atmosphere. Mihawk couldn't say that he was completely against any of it.

Perona took her cup of tea from the little table between them and sipped it delicately, humming vaguely. "You know, a lot of people would probably say that your home's creepy and depressing. You're probably also counting on that to keep others away. But I like it!" she said brightly, smiling to herself. "Plus, being lonely is just so…" she trailed off, not able to finish her thought. "Well, let's just say I'm doing you a favor!"

"Let's not." Mihawk had noticed Perona coming over more and more recently. He also noticed that her appearances coincided with newspaper coverage of Mihawk's 'co-worker' Moria. Ever since Moria's arrest and subsequent 're-assignment' to some secret government project Perona seemed…listless. Depressed, even, when it became more and more unlikely that any more news of the giant man would come. It was to be expected. The young woman clearly considered Moria as a father-like figure. He'd heard often from her own lips about how Moria had raised her as a small child. With Moria's current situation, it wasn't surprising that Perona was taking his absence so hard. Mihawk opened his eyes and regarded Perona for a moment before taking his own cup of carefully prepared tea. He briefly considered her words about 'being lonely.'

"Have you heard anything from your…co-workers?"

Rolling her eyes, Perona huffed as she squeezed her stuffed bear once more. " _Those_ two. Absalom apparently decided to become a reporter or something. I didn't think he'd have the… _skills_ to write articles." She rolled her eyes once more. "Supposedly he's already won some award for his journalism skills, though. He sent me a copy of a certificate he received." Perona paused, looking out over the desolate landscape that was Mihawk's back yard. "I don't even know where Hogback is right now. Probably doing more work on his zombies. It's always zombies with him."

Mihawk raised an eyebrow. "I thought you liked that kind of thing."

Perona groaned, bringing her hand to her forehead as she collapsed dramatically further into her seat. "Not when it's _all the time_! Everywhere I go around him its zombie-this, zombie-that. And Moria-sama likes them, too, so what am I going to do? Complain about having servants to do everything for me?" She snorted a distinctly unladylike laugh. "It gets boring, you know?"

To Mihawk's mildest of amusements, Perona sat up suddenly with a cheerful grin on her face. Somehow he felt his questions were only pulling him in deeper.

"Hey, that reminds me. We should have a movie night!" Perona chirped happily, not taking in the awkward displeasure on Mihawk's face. "We could even make a theme night! Have you seen the _Halloween_ movies? I've seen just about every zombie apocalypse movie or TV show out there, so it'll be nice to try something new."

Mihawk interrupted her before she could start making concrete plans. Already she looked about ready to pull out a day planner to schedule the 'movie night.' Thoughts of popcorn, snacks, fluffy pillows and soft blankets filled his mind. He banished those thoughts with a great viciousness he wasn't quite sure was completely necessary.

"I don't like movies," he said with narrowed eyes. "And I'd prefer if you _didn't_ make your plans at my house."

If she picked up on his caustic tone she didn't show it. Then again, Perona worked with Moria and those other idiots. She was probably used to harsh words and harsher tones. Instead of getting upset at him, she gave him a quizzical look that was a little too bewildered for Mihawk's tastes.

"Who doesn't like movies?" she wondered, staring at him like she couldn't believe him. Mihawk kept his expression and his resolve firm. It would be best if the young 'ghost princess' took the hint and left. Unfortunately, it didn't appear that she received his silent message. "Oh, well, we can fix that." She pulled out her day planner before Mihawk could make any more protests.

Unexpectedly, Perona suddenly frowned at her planner. "Wait, it looks like you have one of your government meetings coming up soon," she said absently, not noticing Mihawk's raised eyebrow. Like with Zoro and his phone number, he wasn't even going to question how she knew his schedule. "And soon after that you have your sword tournament…" She tapped her pen to her lip in thought before giving up with a casual shrug. "I'll figure out a time for our movie night later. Good luck at your tournament!"

And like that Perona swept her stuffed bear and parasol back into her arms and left Mihawk alone to his thoughts. He frowned deeply to himself, gazing back out over his back yard. Just like with Zoro, Perona left him reeling from having his life invaded. He hadn't even had the chance to tell her not to come around again. Or had he? Did he want to?

His life, Mihawk mused, was slowly starting to fall apart.

* * *

"It sounds to me like you've adopted some kids," Shanks said happily, his words only slightly slurred. At some point after Mihawk's tournament win he'd migrated to a nearby bar. Perhaps it was from the lack of any actual challenge in his fights, but he was in the mood for something to drink. In what was probably the greatest joke the universe could play on him, it just so happened that his former rival had _also_ decided that he wanted a drink from some little hole in the wall place called _Party's Bar_.

It had the word 'party' in the name. Mihawk should have known better.

"I have done no such thing," Mihawk said quite clearly. At least _one_ of them should still be in full control of their faculties. The look Shanks gave him was clearly humoring him. Perhaps Mihawk should feel insulted. Unfortunately, that would be a waste of emotion around the red-haired menace. Shanks had a way of getting under Mihawk's skin that no one else quite achieved, even more so than Zoro and Perona.

Shanks took a large swallow of whatever cheap swill he was partial to, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He gave Mihawk a considering look. "Correct me if I'm wrong—"

"You are wrong." Mihawk's reply was swift but Shanks took no notice of it.

"—but so far you've bailed out one kid and have a standing reservation for a movie night with the other," Shanks' grin was wide and cheeky. "Don't look now, but that seems downright paternal. Homemaking, even."

Mihawk turned his best glare on the red-haired man. "You take that back right now." He wasn't even going to ask how he found out about any of that. Shanks had his ways.

"Or what?" Shanks raised an eyebrow, a challenging gleam in his eye. "You want a fight? 'Cause if you do, we'll have to go somewhere else first. Makino will kill me if we destroy her bar." Mihawk honestly doubted that the slip of a woman behind the counter could actually accomplish a feat even the government and other several powerful men and women have failed at, but she would probably refuse to serve him anymore. To Shanks, that would be a form of death.

The drunkard.

"I'll have to pass," Mihawk replied, turning back to his own glass of wine. "Fighting you has no meaning anymore ever since you foolishly lost your arm."

"Hey, that wasn't foolish!" Shanks protested hotly. "I saved my own favorite kid in exchange, and I'd do it again!"

"Exactly what I mean," Mihawk informed him. "Foolish. With your skill you should have been able to save the brat _without_ losing your arm in the process. You probably just didn't think about it."

He took Shanks' non-answer as an answer. Suddenly the one-armed man started looking around the bar as if he hadn't seen it before. For a man who was regarded as an Emperor, Shanks wasn't as good at lying as he should have been. Or maybe Mihawk just knew him too well. As loathe as he was to admit it, Shanks was the closest thing that he had to a friend.

For a man who was quite happy without any attachments of any kind, this was indeed stifling. He was much happier when Shanks was just a rival.

"Between you and my new nuisances, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get my life back." It looked like Mihawk had had too much wine. Or perhaps Shanks had slipped something stronger into it. He wouldn't put it past his former rival to do so. He didn't think he was this loose-lipped about his thoughts.

"And that's such a bad thing?" Shanks raised another eyebrow at him. "I think their persistence is a good thing. I know you, Mihawk, and I know how hard you make it for other people to get close to you. As far as I'm aware, everyone except me before now gave up. These two clearly aren't, so that means that for some reason they actually like you. I'd say they're worth it. That's not a bad thing," he stressed. "And you clearly like them back, though you're trying very hard not to show it, even to yourself. I say, why fight the inevitable? You may surprise yourself with how happy you'll be if you let them in."

Mihawk frowned for lack of anything better to do. Shanks' words hit him as hard as his blows with a sword used to do. Everything he said was true, not that Mihawk was willing to admit it out loud. Somehow, Zoro and Perona had wormed their way into his life and, despite being annoyances second only to Shanks, they were even…liked. Perhaps more than he liked his isolation? It was unclear. And Mihawk didn't like that.

The sound of his phone receiving a text jarred him from his contemplation. Mihawk frowned deeply at his phone for a moment before opening it. He'd just had his meeting with the government; if they were ordering him on another mission so soon he would just ignore them. Really, the government should know better by now. To his surprise the text wasn't from the government.

It was from Zoro.

Showing more curiosity than was really warranted (Mihawk knew exactly what that text was—a challenge to a duel) he read through the text with a slight smirk on his lips. Zoro, apparently, was challenging him to a fight for noon the following Saturday. He briefly considered his answer before replying succinctly.

"What's that happy look for?" Shanks asked, leaning over to look over Mihawk's shoulder. "No way you're that happy about the government ordering you around."

"It was not from the government." Mihawk closed his phone and put it away before Shanks could see anything.

Shanks stared at him in surprise. "Then who's it from? Who else has your number? _I_ don't even have your number!" Mihawk didn't answer. Shanks' eyes narrowed. "It was one of your kids, wasn't it? Otherwise you would have changed phones already." He sat back on his bar stool and laughed loudly. "You must really like them!"

Perhaps, Mihawk mused, he did.

* * *

By now it wasn't a surprise to return to his house to find it occupied. Perona had practically moved in while Zoro stayed over sporadically. Mihawk wasn't sure if the younger swordsman actually had his own residence or if he instead bummed around with friends. Part of Mihawk, the newer, softer part that was entirely their fault, wanted to suggest that Zoro just pick a room and be done with it. Mihawk didn't do this, however, since he still had _some_ self control over his life.

Instead, Mihawk walked out to his back porch one sunny day in late October to find his two children lounging around like they were welcome. And, Raftel help him, Mihawk couldn't help but give in this once. To be honest, losing this personal battle had never felt more exhilarating. His life had been boring before these two. If he thought about it, there was hardly any meaning. He'd reached the top of his profession, of his skill, of his craft, and there was nothing left. Shanks had been worthwhile when he'd still had his arm but the enjoyment of a good fight with him was now taken away forever. There was always Vista with the Whitebeard group, but they came across one another too infrequently for any level of excitement to actually build.

To finally face a challenge, and not just one but two in the form of these two irritations—Mihawk had honestly never been happier. Not that he would show it, of course. Why let them know their advantage?

What's more, Zoro never stopped trying to challenge him. While this was undoubtedly annoying day after day, Mihawk couldn't quite deny the rush of a good fight. Before he'd realized, they were already in a sort of master-apprentice relationship. Zoro's stated goal was to defeat Mihawk; he couldn't think of anything more fulfilling than training up the one to challenge him, to be a proper rival. Zoro didn't even want to get stronger for himself anymore. Instead, he wanted to be stronger for his 'captain.' Mihawk could appreciate that, and was determined to hammer in everything the younger man would need to know. No doubt Shanks would laugh at him and call him crazy but he wasn't one to judge. Mihawk had it on good authority that Shanks had done pretty much the same thing when he'd given over his straw hat.

If nothing else, Mihawk's life was sure to be interesting now.

"Welcome back!" Perona cheered happily as Mihawk stepped through the doorway, dancing around in his yard with her ghosts following around. From what he could see she had been in the middle of lighting candles and putting up various lights around the area. There were a pile of pillows, blankets, and snacks pushed over to one side of the porch while Zoro dozed on the other side. Zoro barely glanced up, offering small wave in greeting before dozing off once more.

"What's this?"

Perona smiled gleefully and twirled around with her arms raised to show off her work. "Duh! Our movie night? I knew you were coming back tonight and Zoro was free, so I figured it would be the best time to have it." She put her hands on her hips and glared at Zoro. "Though, _some_ one's not helping."

"If you actually wanted help, you'd have listened to my idea to move one of the wine racks out here," Zoro answered without opening his eyes. "Instead, you just want me to move everything."

"You could have at least shown _some_ enthusiasm!" Perona snapped.

"It appears there's no getting out of this," Mihawk decided. "Do you at least have a projector? If not, it'll be difficult to watch anything other than the humandrills." Speaking of whom, Mihawk noticed several of the intelligent primates lining the edge of the clearing with their own snacks and blankets.

Perona beamed, offering Zoro a triumphant look that he ignored. She floated over to the edge of the garden where, Mihawk saw, she'd already set up a projector. "I was just going to have Zoro put up the screen when you came back."

"Hey! Ask a person first!" Zoro protested, sitting up with his own glare. He looked over to Mihawk for support but was met with a dead stare. Grumbling, the green haired man stood up and walked over to where the large projection screen was laying on the ground.

As Mihawk watched Zoro try to piece the thing together Perona floated over to the porch where Mihawk still stood. She hovered near him, twirling her parasol over her shoulder as she watched Zoro scratch his head and lift up a piece of paper with lines and diagrams on it. Mihawk side-eyed her for a moment before gazing forward once more.

"If nothing else comes of the evening, it will at least have been worthwhile to watch Zoro try to read simple instructions."

Mihawk smiled when Perona giggled happily. It was good to be home.

* * *

Just a few quick notes; Zoro's relationship with his first master isn't as dramatic or bad as he's making it out to be. Kuina's still alive, for one, though because of Reasons she can't be a swordswoman any more. Zoro feels guilty that he's able to accomplish what they swore together by himself, so there's that. Also, his first master isn't really down with Zoro being a technical criminal, though he'd still help him out if Zoro called. Zoro's just too awkward to realize this on his own.

Second, about Mihawk's 'house.' Replace 'house' with 'creepy Dracula mansion' and you have an idea of where he's actually living. Mihawk's just too blase to refer to it as anything other than 'house' while Perona genuinely thinks of it as an acceptable house. Take what they say with a grain of salt.

Hope you liked it! ^_^


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